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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Goddammit, my head.

Guys, I don't know if I can take this anymore. I don't know what I have to lose besides my life, and I don't know how much longer I can go without that being taken. Things pile up far too much, far too often. Now the laptop I use is unable to start up. I can only use this current substitute for a short time.

I'll try to make this quick.

Life cannot let me be happy. Life cannot even let me stay sane. Life used to force me to stay sane, now it considers sanity to be another luxury Jordan just cannot have.
I feel like I'm going to throw up and pass out. I need to keep going.

I really don't want to jeapordise this blog, so I need to keep details scarce.

I haven't eaten. I haven't held a stable conversation. I haven't gotten any writing done. I haven't had any luck with other escapisms.

I haven't escaped today, basically.

And shit hit the fans.
Then shit hit the fans again.
Then shit hit the fans once more.

Now I'm weak. I can't focus my eyes too well. My head is throbbing with lightheadedness and illness.
ow ow ow that was a painful throb. I have some candy. I hope this will subdue some feelings.

To get back to the point, thanks to various circumstances regarding my life in general, I am an escapist. I need escapism if I don't want to drive myself to suicide. And today of all days, I wasn't able to get any. In fact, the most useful tool of escapism was severed. And shit got fjsd9fse9j. I just. God.

I hurt my head, too.

I don't have much reasonsdf9fsdkjoOWOWOW my head. I don't have much to live for.

EDIT: feeling better.

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