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This blog goes back to 2007, but back then this was just a blog. If you came here for the investigation and the thrills, start with this post and work your way up. Click "Newer Post" to continue.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Hoshi no Kaabii: Shadow Shutdown (part 5)

"Well, lookee here, guys... stuck up the creek without a paddle! ...Literally," said the comedic King. "Dedede, just... just shut up. You're the one who wanted to stop for food!" Kracko Jr. shouted. "Ya Dodedo! Mi no stoop food yu no wine!" Kirby babbled, angrily. "Fellows, must we argue? If we're stuck here on Aqua Star, we may as well find a way to live!" Astroll calmly stated. King Dedede sighed, and looked sadly at the sky. He's right... although I don't DARE say that out loud... King Dedede thought. Kracko Junior looked around and noticed a strange box resting in the river. He floated for a moment, thinking up a plan. Hoping for some sort of sign, he scanned the horizons thoroughly. As soon as he saw a fish swimming down the river, he rushed to the box. "Guys, I have a plan... but I need you to cope with me for a moment. Follow me!" He said as he directed the other three to the stone box.

This work gets harder every hour... I just wonder... who are these evil people? And... why do they want us? I-I don't even know who I am! I don't recognize anything... nor do I remember a thing before meeting Mace Knight. Uh-oh, that big guy's coming again... need to hurry. "Ah, yes... the little one. How is... progress... little Waddle Dee?" It asked to me, with a sneer. 'Little Waddle Dee'? Is that what I am? A... little... wait. What's a Waddle Dee? "Well? You WILL answer me as I ask you questions..." It said, impatiently. "Pro...progress is-- it's... it's coming along" I stuttered. "Hmmm... now that I... look... at it... you DO seem to be doing... how do you Rock Star people say it? ...Totally awesome, dude. So 'awesome' that I feel a promotion is in order. Come with me." The foul fiend said, almost... happily. I followed the big thing, and as I saw the gigantic magma silo, I fainted.

"Yes, sir, I will obey. I shall go get him." The words came from a mysterious man. I don't quite feel like myself anymore... it feels as if I was smacked upside the head at least a thousand times! There's that man again... he wears a mask. His eyes are yellow, burning like the sun... the image of them haunts me. His shoes are large and purple, every stomp feels as an earthquake. His wings are bat-like... almost demonic... as are his small gloves. From behind, he looks like Kirby's alter-ego. In one glove, he holds the Meta-Sword, one of which that I fear may be able to destroy the universe with one jab. A deadly aura surrounds him, one that kills those not worthy. The sight of his mask can scare people to death, literally. Wait a moment... that man... he's ME!

"WHOOOOOO-HOOOO!" Shouted Kirby as the wind blows past his skin. The four are scrunched up in a stone box, riding it down the fast current at over a hundred miles an hour. Occasionally, a branch may whiz by, snapping itself among King Dedede's beak. This hurts him, but he's going too fast to notice. Oh my... this is fast! (bleep)... oh, (bleep)! Too fast... too (bleep)ing) fast for a (bleep)ing old penguin like me! I feel like I'm gonna have a (bleep)ing heart-attack. King Dedede thought, trying to ignore his own profanity. Suddenly, a waterfall came up. "Oh, nononononononono!" Kirby screamed. Time seemed to slow down as they flew through the air, the water sliding off everyone's bodies. "Just end it now... just end it now..." Astroll chanted throughout the entire jump. Apparently, the fall was over three-hundred feet, as the box didn't hit the hard ground until a few minutes had passed. When it hit the ground, the bottom of the box shredded and some parts even fell off. Think about it, if YOU were in a box made of stone going hundreds of miles an hour, and it flew for miles and miles on end off a waterfall for a few minutes, you'd be scared stiff, right? The box probably wouldn't survive the fall, either. The same thing goes for these folks. The box's skid lasted another minute. It would've lasted longer, but they hit a tree.

Did I faint again? Oh, my aching head. (gasp)... it's that big guy again. "Fainting... on the JOB? That's going to cost you... your LIFE." He roared at me, as I layed on the floor. Where am I? The walls... the ceiling... the floor... it's all moving darkness. With some purple shoved in there, too. The floating porygon of twenty eyes approached me, laughing maniacally. Oh, no... he's going to kill me, isn't he? "EEK!" I screamed as I hopped to my feet, dashing away from the monstrosity. There was nowhere to run, though. No exits. It's as if I was locked in darkness... forever. I closed my eyes, thinking it was all over. Then, I heard the monster roar, and there was a huge crash. When my eyes opened, I was suddenly in a gigantic shopping mall. 'Shopping mall'? Where'd I learn that phrase? When I ran towards the door, there was another man there. "G'day, miss. How are you? The name's Trident Knight. What's yours?"

It turns out hitting that tree was a stroke of luck. It was in the middle of a village rich in wisdom, and succulent seafood. Two things that feed all minds! This is too good to be true... Kracko Jr. thought as he took a look around. A few small penguins were cooking red fish, and somewhere they thought they saw a pig in a farm. "It's way too quiet around here... but, it's probably just me, right?" Dedede asked. "...Right?" He asked again. "......What?" He asked. Kirby grabbed Dedede's head and turned it towards a gigantic tower. "...Oh. So it wasn't just me." Dedede said.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Kirby's Shadow Shutdown! (part 4)

"Oh, will you wake up and look?" Rocky said to me. I looked up in the skies and saw a peculiar thing-- a shooting star falling down to Rock Star. But wait, it wasn't a star... it was an escape pod! I had recently had visions... ones about escape pods... ones that looked just like this. In the visions, the escape pod would open up only to contain a black hole. This hole would suck up the entire Star into darkness... into shadows. I'd be running as fast as I could, but would never escape. I'd see a giant... a giant... a... wait, the pod's opening! "Minny... Minny, you're zoning out again!" Rocky shouted. Oh, right, the escape pod! What's inside? ...What's that thing?

"Where are we supposed to find a Waddle Dee?" The King asked. Kirby and Kracko Junior looked at him, not impressed. The planet Pop Star is full of Waddle Dees, actually. Kracko Jr. glanced at the skies, thinking about his father. What... what's that? Is that... He thought. "GUYS! Look up in the sky! What... what is that?" He yelled to the two. Kirby looked up and stopped the Warp Star. "Big... biggy thingy" Kirby muttered. In the sky was what appeared to be a black hole. But... what is it sucking up? thought Kracko Jr. as he scanned the night sky. Suddenly, Kirby remembered somebody and quickly flew the Warp Star down to the surface, as if running away from the black hole itself.

What... what? "Good, you're awake. If I may just learn your name, ma'am," the voice said to me. "My... my.. name? Ugh..." I quietly mumbled. "Yes, your name, please. Are you feeling okay?" the voice said. I opened my eyes and saw some sort of round thing with blue shoes, purple armor, and a big mace. "Who... who are you?" I asked. "Oh ho, I was asking you that, little lady! But, I must be polite... I am Mace Knight." Mace Knight... hmm... what... what's going on?

The Warp Star pulled up at a small hut, with what seems to be a telescope poking out of a window. The three entered the hut, and inside was a Waddle Dee staring into the telescope, up into the stars. "Artsolgy?" Kirby gibbered. "Why, hello there, Kirby! And... King Dedede? Oh, who is that?" the Waddle Dee answered. "Uh... I'm Kracko Junior, orphan." "Orphan? Why?" Kracko Jr. turned around and sniffed. "My... my... father... he..." Before he could finish, Dedede patted on his cloud and said, "Kracko died. I don't think Junior wants to talk about it right now..." "Ah, yes... I understand. I felt the same when my father died. So, Kirby, what brings you here?" the Waddle Dee asked. Kirby had a long, nearly gibberish conversation with the Waddle Dee, and then he just sighed and said, "Of course. I think I'll take a look into the telescope and" he paused as he looked through the telescope. "Wh-what's that? Is that a... is it a black hole? But... what's it doing absorbing Rock Star? Unless... unless it has already begun! We'd better act fast, you three. I'll come. By the way, my name's Astroll Gee." Astroll finished. "Wi go Wraap Steer!" Kirby blabbed. They all ran to the Warp Star, and took off into space.

Mace Knight escourted me towards a river. He pointed at a box and said, "We use these for transportation. Now, now, don't look at me like that! We simply ride them down the river, and harvest the food along the way. Any questions?" He asked. I shook my head. "I'm very confused, sir Mace Knight. I don't believe I even remember my own name!" "Oh ho! Not to worry, miss. No need to get moody! Just step into this box and I'll grab us a bite to eat, okay?" "Y-yes... of course." Reluctant, I carefully hopped into the box. I took a look at the water... so calming. "Whoa! EEK!" I shouted as I saw something in the water. I was so startled, I tumbled out of the box and into the water. "Miss! Aye... please be more careful," He told me as he pulled me back into the box. "Wh-what is that red thing in the water?" "Hm? What red... oh! Oh ho ho! That would be your reflection, miss. Not to worry, it has something to do with light playing tricks on us. Just stay calm, and I'd stop peeking at the river if I were you." I gently sat down and made myself comfortable. "Uh... Mace Knight, sir? What... what do you mean... my reflection? You-you mean... that was me? I'm... I'm tiny!"

Riding through the stars, King Dedede started to whine. "Aw, SHUT UP, you big crybaby!" Astroll said. "But... but I'm hungry!" The big King complained. "Kung, mi drip foh food at nuxt toop!" Kirby attempted to say. "Oh. Okay, then. That's fine.......... I hope," Dedede responded. Astroll stared at a magnificent wonder to their side: the black hole where Rock Star used to be. What's that thing in the middle? It... it has an eye! Wait... OW! OWOWOWOWOWOW.... Kracko Junior started to groan. "What's wrong?" Astroll asked. "Looking at the center of the hole... something there causes my eye to hurt," "Really? Hm... that's strange. Normally clouds like you... their eyes don't ache unless there's a.......... oh. Oh my." Astroll pointed at the center. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it's a hole. Whoopee," the King said. "N-no, I thought I saw... never mind." Astroll occasionally glanced at the black hole as they drifted past it, and every time he looked, he thought he saw an eyeball. Could it be you, master? Could it be? Astroll thought to himself.

"M-madame, you must come with me! It seems as if there is a shooting star falling here!" Just as Mace Knight said that, I zoned out. A shooting star? That's... that's familiar. It brings sadness and fear into my mind... just simply hearing the phrase. And yet, I'm not quite sure I remember what a shooting star is. "Madame? Madame? Oh, will you wake up and look?" That... that thing he said... deja vu? Oh, right... the shooting star. I looked up at the sky and saw a combination of red, blue, pink, white, and yellow all coming... towards... the... star. It's coming for us? That doesn't sound good. The shooting star crashed into the planet, and yet, it didn't actually crash. It just hovered to it. Four creatures hopped off: a pink puffball, a fat, blue penguin, a red puffball, and some weird floating eyeball with just-grown clouds around it.

"Oh, thank goodness, I see fish over there! Great choice, Aqua Star! I love seafood..." King Dedede said as he rushed towards a seafood shop. Kirby looked around, and saw one of his old rivals: Mace Knight, standing next to what appears to be an ant. "Macinit!" Kirby yelled. "Oh ho, Kirby! Long time, no see, old chum. How are things?" Mace Knight asked. King Dedede chuckled and said, "Oh, hey there, Mace Knight! What are you doing here in Aqua Star?" "Well, after Kirby defeated me for the millionth time, the Knights split up... and I decided to relax in Aqua Star. So... heard from Meta Knight yet? I haven't spoken to him in a while!" "Um... how do I put this simply? Meta Knight was... kidnapped. By a man that looked... hauntingly familiar. Kirby here witnessed the whole thing!" "WHAT!? And you didn't do anything to save him!?" Mace Knight yelled at Kirby. As he said that, Kirby started to cry. "Grr... Kirby, I never liked you and I never will! Come, miss, and let us vacation elsewhere... perhaps Ripple Star." Mace Knight said as he escourted the tiny creature along to Kirby's Warp Star. He managed to operate it just fine, and the four looked as they flew away for around five minutes. Then, Astroll quietly said, "Um... you folks... do know... that's the Warp Star he took, right?" Dedede's pupils shrunk. "Oh. ...IT WAS!?" He yelled as he ran around in circles. Kirby, Astroll, King Dedede, and Kracko Jr were stranded on Aqua Star.

It all happened so fast, Mace Knight hijacking the shooting star, flying away at fast speeds, and then those dark things striking us in the middle of the sky! The dark things... they were scary. It looked like this: a black ball with a red eye in the middle, and a bit of red here and there. There were hundreds of them! And they all struck us in space, and we fell to this cold place. Then, we were put to work in a dark factory. This big machine I have to drive is much too big! I can barely reach the seat from the ground! This man came and took me to a big, extremely scary thing. It was big, white, polygonal, and had around ten to twenty red eyes on it! It said that I'm small enough to be operating the I3-machines... whatever than meant. It was something like a crusher, or something like that. But, I still don't know what's going on... I still don't know my own name, and I still don't know if I'm gonna live any longer... I hope someone comes to help soon.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Kirby! Shadow Shutdown (part 3... there are a ton of parts, so you know)

King Dedede decided to finally get off his lazy butt and visit Kracko Junior, now an orphan. "So, according to the photograph attached to the blackmail letter... Kirby killed Kracko. But... this blackmail letter is a fake! So... either Kirby did kill Kracko, and someone wrote this letter and left the candy," The king said, "...Or, somebody else killed him, and framed Kirby! Okay, let's look at the evidence." Kracko Jr. turned to a piece of candy placed in a plastic bag and said, "We have the Invincibility Candy..." He then turned towards a piece of paper in a plastic bag and said, "...the blackmail letter, PLUS photograph... and the piece of evidence you brought that I haven't seen yet. What is it?" He finished. Dedede chuckled, sighed, and got anxious. "King Dedede... you did bring the evidence, right?" "Uh... y'see... um... on the way here, I, uh... some Gordos mugged me," the King said nervously, and then stated, "I'm serious! THERE THEY ARE!" He pointed toward a nearby cloud, and two spiked... things with eyes flew away. "Don't worry, I'll get them!" Kracko Junior said as he began to spark, and floated towards them. (Kracko and his son are giant clouds with one eye, and sometimes spikes are surrounding them)

Kirby stood inside his house, eyes wide open. Then, he just yawned and went to bed. The next day, he told a Waddle Dee about the whole thing. The Dee gasped, and gestured his hands into a star shape. Kirby nodded, and ran home. He took a look at something underneath his bed, star shaped. He pulled it out, and carried it outside. This was his Warp Star, just barely bigger than he was. He climbed onto it, and flew it away into the sky.

The two Gordos were panting, going as fast as they could. But Kracko Jr. learned from his father, and thus was faster than even Kirby when it came to flying. The Gordos didn't see the large wall in front of them, and they smacked into it. "Ugh... fine, you can have the stupid star rod! I didn't want it anyway..." The first Gordo said, and gave the rod with a star on the tip to Kracko. After a few minutes of flying, Kracko Junior made it back to the king. "So, the evidence was... the star rod? But... what's that got to do with Kirby?" "Don't you see? This rod has fingerprints on it!" "Kirby doesn't have fingers." "Yeah, I knew you'd say that. It has two marks on it, representing Kirby's two big... uh..." "Arms." "Yeah, arms! So, Kirby has GOT to be the killer!" "Waddle Dees have two simple arms. And what about the--" "SHUT UP! (sniff) You're ruining the moment! Sheesh... (mumble)" "Hang on... these fingerprints..." "I know, they could be a Waddle Dee's..." "No, they match Kirby's!" "You serious!? They DO!? I was right for once!?" "I never said that... but you could be..." "Okay, then... let's go find Kirby!"

Kirby finally reached what he was going to-- Kracko's Grape Garden. The place was deserted, except for the highest point-- Kracko's resting place. "KIRBY! What are you doing here?" King Dedede shouted, and Kirby turned around. "Ah-ha! Returning to the scene of the crime, are you? Kill my dad, will you... why I oughta--" Kracko Junior unleashed a large lightning bolt at Kirby, who barely dodged it. "Wher Kricket?" Kirby asked, and the King answered with a simple, "FIRE!" Kracko Jr. shot another lightning bolt at Kirby. This time, Kirby was knocked out.

"King, the fingerprints are close, but no exact match! What if it isn't him?" "Nonsense! It's gotta be him! I can't be wrong again... I'm sick of being wrong!" Kirby wakes to these voices coming from around him. "Wher... Kricket...?" Kirby asked one last time. "Kricket-- wait, do you mean 'Kracko'?" "Yuh... yuh-huh..." "King, he doesn't know where my dad is! I'll bet he didn't even know he was dead!" "WHAAA? Kricket DEEEEEED?" "See, King? He didn't know my dad was dead! Obviously, he couldn't be the killer!" Dedede sighed, and just silently cried. "I... I don't know what to say. Not except... C'MERE, KIRBY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Make me wrong so many times..." The King smacks Kracko Jr. away, and then kicks him all they way down to the surface. It was just Dedede and Kirby now...

I, I don't know what happened... I was dragged away, then forced into labor. What's going on here? Last thing I remember is fighting Kirby in his backyard, then that escape pod... ugh... what's... what's going on? There's a big... a big... thing here. He's... he's kinda (bzzzrt) colored, and has a big (bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrt) right there, right (bzzrt)! They're... they're cancelling out what I say, aren't they? Oh, man... are they getting suspicious? I see one of them coming towards me... oh, no, not (bzzrt) again! Help! NO! Not the (static)!

Kirby was face to face with the evil King, and put on his green cap. Then, he pulled out a sword. "Ha! Sword ability, right? Do you have anything new?" Dedede chuckled. Kirby jumped forward and jabbed the sword, then gave a left slash, then a right, and finally a stab! The king barely felt anything. "Heh... I've got a SWORD-PROTECTED suit on today, Kirby!" So, Kirby took off his green cap, and put on a white bandana. He then pulled out a giant hammer. "Wha? A HAMMER!? Hey! That's MY trademark!" Dedede yelled. Kirby hopped forward and gave Dedede a big, firey WHACK in the head. Kracko Jr. floated back up and looked at the King. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... sir, when will you learn? Kirby never means to purposefully hurt you! He only hurts you if you do something wrong, get it?" "Ugh... what? Really? So, he didn't mean to make me wrong all those times? O...okay. Well, Kirby... let's chat a bit. Why did you come here?" Dedede asked Kirby, and he responded with a long babble. "Huh. A mysterious man? Could you describe this man to me?" "Me ned Kricket June tu trinslty!" "Um... what?" Kracko Jr. responded with, "He said he needs me to translate." "Oh. Okay." After some babbling from Kirby, Kracko Jr. described it: Short, brown cloak, looks like a shadow wearing clothes, large sword, purple shoulder-guards, big, spiky black hair, one almost mechanical-like eye. If you want to see a picture, here:
"So... this... swordsman-like creature, he kidnapped Meta Knight? Okay. Alright, I know what we should do! We should go around, asking about this guy!" Dedede suggested.

After a few days of asking around, one actually said they knew the guy. "Yeah, I know that guy. I'm sorta related to him. Dunno why he'd want that armor guy, though. Normally the guy goes searching for Kirby!" This thing, called Gooey, said. "If you wanna save your pal, I'd reccomend you go to Dark Star, up in the sky." So, the three headed to Kirby's warp star. "BUT, before you go... I oughta warn you... these guys are dangerous. They can wipe you out without even batting an eyelash! I'd suggest bringing at least one Waddle Dee with you, to make it safe. Oh, and... 'Cloudy'? Yeah, you. I really don't think you should go. 'Why not?' Well, uh... let's just say that you need a minimum of two eyes to survive even SEEING one o' these guys. Well, there's your warning, now go!" So, our three heroes set off to first find a Waddle Dee, as reccomended, and then fly off to the unknown reaches of Dark Star.

Hoshi no Kaabii: Shadow Shutdown (part 2)

The wicked king was laughing maniacally when he got a call. "What? ...Oh. WHAT!? B-but that's impossible! The god of... wait a minute! Get me his son, then! Yes, I'll wait." King Dedede sighed, and started twiddling with his fingers. Getting bored, he started to pass a few glances at the plasma-screen television in his chamber.

Kirby was busy calling the Poppy Brothers, and babbling random things on his telephone. Or, at least, it seemed random. He was actually telling them of this urban legend floating around. "bigburd ski fling," he said. Of course, the Poppy Brothers understood every word. Kirby was speaking of a rainbow-colored bird that was said to fly around the mountain by town. The town members gave it the nickname: "Dynablade." Suddenly, Kirby thought he heard something. "berit buck" he babbled, saying he'd be right back. He looked out the window, and nothing was there. Right before he picked up the phone, he saw a giant, rainbow-colored bird picking apples off the apple tree in his backyard.

"Hey, King Dedede, what was it you needed me for? King Dede--" Kracko Junior said on the visual-phone. He stopped when he saw the thing that would scar him for life-- a big, fat, blue penguin dancing on a dancing video game. "... K-king..." Kracko Jr. mumbled. "--Whoa! Huh? Um... oh, you're... you've... picked up. Um... uh..." the King stuttered. "Uh... sorry. Um... I'll... I'll just, uh... turn the... game off, then. Yeah. (click) So, Kracko... have you heard about your father?" "No, what about my father?" "Uh... it's hard to say. (gulp) Your father is... is... dead." Kracko Jr. just turned around and silently shed a tear. "I knew it'd happen soon. So, how'd he die?" "Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Y'see, we have some evidence to prove it was that rat, KIRBY! May I present you with... EXHIBIT A!" King Dedede shouted as he pulled out a piece of candy. "Uh... sir? That's just a lollipop." "Not just ANY lollipop, it's an invincibility lollipop! The only times you find these are when Kirby is around! And, Kracko was holding this when we found him." "But, sir... it couldn't have been Kirby. Kirby can't just LEAVE BEHIND a lollipop! He'd eat it the moment he sees it!" "I knew you'd under-- what? Hmm... you've got a point there. Well, may I present you with... EXHIBIT... B." The King pulled out something that made Kracko Junior gasp.

Kirby was slowly stepping towards the humongus beast munching on apples. "Dinobladda?" He mumbled. Dynoblade roared ferociously. Kirby made a troubled screech, and backed away. The bird looked curiously at the tiny puffball 5 feet in front of it. Kirby mumbled an advisor to himself, and Dynablade got scared-- flew away instantly at half the speed of sound. Kirby sighed, and walked back into the house. "soso aloooooooooony," he quietly said. Oh, how that would change tonight...

"A PIECE OF PAPER!? Are you just getting desperate?" Kracko Junior exclaimed. "Look at what's ON the paper. It's a blackmail, signed FROM KIRBY! See? SEE?!" "Yes, I see. But, one problem-- KIRBY CAN NOT WRITE! Even if he could, he doesn't know what blackmail means! Plus, he wouldn't be able to write such big words, like 'perpetual', which is on this note! But... that photograph on the bottom showing Kirby killing dad is kinda suspicious..."

In the night, Kirby likes to look up at the stars and think whether or not he'll ever return to his home planet. Tonight starts off no different, until he spots a shooting star. "Oh! Oh! Shutin stur! Mewish me cud no be aloony!" As soon as he makes his wish, the star stops. It stays still for a few seconds, and suddenly, it comes crashing down into Kirby's own backyard. He steps forward a bit, and just stares at the star. Then, he realized it wasn't a star, it was actually an escape pod! Out came a masked puffball. "Bububu! Metanit!" Kirby exclaims. "Yes, Kirby, it is I... Meta Kight. King Dedede ordered me to defeat you..." "Nono! Metanit! Nooooooo!" Kirby attempts to run back to his house, but Meta Knight pulls out his sword and throws another sword at him. "Kirby, as always... take the sword. We shall duel," Meta Knight stated. So, Kirby grabbed the sword and popped on his trusty green cap. Meta Knight took to the skies and threw his sword like a boomerang, smacking Kirby. As Meta came back down, Kirby stuck his sword straight up. "OoOoOoOoOoooooooo... whuh?" Meta Knight grunted, in pain. Suddenly, a star in the sky started moving, and came crashing down in between the two swordspuffs. Kirby, scared, ran into his house, and looked out the window as another escape pod opened. Meta Knight peeked inside. "Hey, KIRBY! It's empty! Come on out and fight!" But, Kirby didn't come out. He was too busy looking at the man forming behind Meta Knight. This man looked the exact same as the one from the previous night, except this one's hand was fine. He grapped his scarf and pulled it off. Meta Knight turned around and screamed. Quickly, he ran towards Kirby's house. Kirby opened the window and reached out his hand. "Grib mi hind!" He babbled, gesturing towards his hand. Meta Knight reached for the hand, but it was too late; the man had already grabbed Meta Knight by the legs and was dragging him into the empty escape pod. Both the man and the escape pod simply degenerated into thin air.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Kirby of the Stars... Shadow Shutdown

It was a dark night, and Kirby had just gone to bed. Dark matter was roaming in the skies, yet none could tell due to the fact that... it's dark matter. Suddenly, a man formed in Kirby's backyard. This man looked peculiar, he had black hair and one eye partially hidden behind a scarf. He stepped up to Kirby's house, and silently merged through the window into the back-room. Without a sound, this man walked up to Kirby, asleep, and raised his just-formed sword; and with one foul swipe...

H O S H I - N O - K A A B I I... Shadow Shutdown. (Reference to Kirby: , and to Waddle Dee:

The man was shocked at the sight in front of him: Kirby was wearing a green cap, carrying a sword, and had jumped out of bed at the very last minute! The man just grunted, and took a look at his hand-- of which there was none anymore; Kirby had used the sword to cut it off. The man raised his sword (in the other hand, unfortunately) and simply dropped it. He slowly, and silently, turned around, walked out of the house, and-- as quickly as he appeared, disappeared into thin air. Kirby watched, and gasped. But, he went back to bed; he'll worry about it in the morning.

Kirby had other things to worry about in the morning, though, as he picked up the box of cereal. Contrary to what he thought the other day, he was out of cereal. Quickly, he ran out of the house, no idea where he was going. At all. Occasionally, he'd squeal, or babble, for although he had the magnificent ability of copying his foe's abilities, he had not... the ability to talk.

Nearby, a peaceful Waddle Dee was walking, joyful, care-free. Meanwhile, Kirby was dashing, worried, care-full. Waddle Dee spotted something in the distance, as did Kirby. What was it? Was it a bee? Was it a person? No, it was a jar of honey! Kirby felt so hungry, he didn't notice Waddle Dee in the middle of his path. The next thing you know, both Kirby and the Waddle Dee were covered in honey... and bruises. Kirby childishly licked himself, having not eaten breakfast.

After a humble babble, somewhat like "imma sorru", Waddle Dee forgave him. For you see, the Waddle Dee (that's plural) all know how Kirby's hunger gets, and Kirby's babbled that line at certain times, so I suppose they understand what it means.

So, the random antics of Kirby ended as soon as the kind Waddle Dee gave him a piece of bread. ...And a chocolate cake. ...And a big carton of milk. ...Finally, a box of cereal. The Waddle Dee don't ever mind, becuase, without mouths, what's the point of eating? However, the antics continue elsewhere...

The place is somewhere atop a mountain, in a diabolical castle. The evil King Dedede is getting ready for his big scheme! The big, duck-like creature calls for his communication-thing with no name. (Not a phone, it's got a screen) "Hello? Yes... Operation: Foodstuff is now commencing. ...Yes, the one with the swords. Oh? You will? Excellent..." Dedede slyly spoke.

To be continued

Sunday, April 22, 2007

CURSES! Gah, Why Me!?

You know, I'm not much of an unlucky guy, but... wow. Here's the scoop:

The Tails Doll. Heard of him? Unlockable character on Sonic R. Want more info? Said to be a cursed creature that, when unlocked, comes to life and kills you/friends/family/all of the above without much warning. There have been... a couple of reports like that. Lie, actually, there have been THOUSANDS of reports like that! Want a... few (hundred)? Here: (contains a few swear words, and will scare you at some points). See what I mean? I know some or most of those stories aren't true, because kids these days come up with the DARNDEST stuff! ...Sorry. (The link at the very bottom of the page leads to an... adult-sort of website, I mean not ACTUAL adult stuff, but humor and swearing and... mentioning of stuff, so beware) Now, I don't actually believe in the curse myself, some of the stories I think are highly likely, but you never know.

Y'see... Sonic R isn't the thing to worry about... Super Paper Mario is. ...and slightly Paper Mario 2. Why? Here's what happened:

Last night, after finally getting off the PC, I decide to play some of my favorite game (SPM). I went back on my file (named 'Star', what I call ALL my Mario files, Mario Party and otherwise), but... Oh... em... gee. I had saved as Bowser, in Flipside 2nd Floor, but I was LUIGI, in Flipside Tower! ...Where you CAN'T save. I picked up the Wiimote, and pressed 'Left', but Luigi went right. I desperately tried to stop him, until he suddenly stopped-- in front of the dark blue door. Chapter 6, I thought to myself, The Duel of 100. So, I decided to enter it. Normally, it'd say, "This door leads to Chapter 6, Sammer's Kingdom. Would you like to visit the only section?" But, instead it glitched up and I heard a loud buzz. Man, my Wii is messed up... great. That's what I thought. The disc shot straight out and hit me in the face. Then, it said, "The disc could not be read." ...Figures. So, I gave it a long wash and inserted it in the disc-place. Guess what happened? Glitch City. Colors flashed on-screen, and the words "I AM ERROR" appeared on-screen. ...Figures. It thinks it's at Chapter 1-4, the Fracktail battle. Suddenly, the colors flashed again, and I appeared where it was at first-- Luigi in front of the Dark Blue door. I pressed up, and it said, " " Nothing at all. A box appeared with two choices: "You said it, not me" and "Nah." I chose Nah. A box appeared, with the word "soap" on screen, and I realized what was going on. However, I didn't get a choice, and I got a GAME OVER. So, I got back on the file, and everything was normal again. I was Bowser at the 2nd Floor. So, I wanted to go to Sammer's Kingdom and just check to see if everything's good again. At the door, no choice, Bowser entered it. Then, I appeared on a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG black line with a white background. "W...T...F?" I thought to myself, moving to the right. 5 minutes later, Mr. L appeared and we dueled. When I won, it was weird again-- "BUZZZZZZZZ" went the Wii, and wammo-- there I was... at the File Select screen. Back to my file, something weird happened: "CHAPTER 8-4" appeared on the screen, and I was suddenly Mario in the Inner Sanctum. But, I realized it WASN'T 8-4, because at the end was Mimi! It thought it was 8-4, but I was in 8-2. She said her regular stuff, then BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ a long buzz by the Wii. It kept going until I pressed "2" on the Wiimote. Then, the game's text got messed up, and it appeared as if Mimi was saying, "YoU hAvE bEeN cYdes! CUrsEd!" ...OF COURSE it was a coincidence! Curses aren't real! An info box appeared on-screen, with jumbled up text rushing across the screen. I thought I read "2 days" in there somewhere, but then again...? So, the game got messed up and I got a GAME OVER somehow. So, I tried to reluctantly delete my file, but instead, as I selected DELETE, it read "Start this file?" I chose YES, and the game started. It started, and suddenly Merlon called, "MARIO!" and I went in his house's text got very messed up, X's and O's everywhere, and some binary, too. Occasionally, I saw some words, namely "Every" and "day" and "you" and "will" and "get" and even "more stressed"! Eventually, I pressed the power button. But... what? It didn't turn off! I tried everything, and I just pulled the plug when I saw on-screen, "Doopliss" for some reason. So, curious, I decided to play Paper Mario 2. I went to the Creepy Steeple, of course, and into Doopliss' chamber. What was inside? More glitches. Just messed up colors. So, I turned it off.

So many messed up colors... my mind couldn't get the picture out. Then, I realized-- one of the pictures was of Mimi!

My theory of that was the Wii got messed up and got Mimi's image memorized, sorta, so it was kept internally. But... what was with the "curse"? Coincidence, probably.

That's it. Well, see ya!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Invading Castle Bleck (SPOILERS INCLUDED ALL THE WAY) (Recent Embark Part 4)

So, you're all here? Good. Let's go. (CHAPTER 8 OF SUPER PAPER MARIO SPOILERS)

Okay, so there I was, entering the evil Count Bleck's fortress. Chapter 8-1 had begun, and I was rushing through-- speed of sound. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, O'Chunks was waiting for me. And there's your video... of ShadowKirby. Yeah, I know... we'll all miss Bowser... a whole lot. He was classic. Anyway, the adventure continued, and in 8-2... (sob) I'm gonna miss Peach... and slightly Mimi. They were both well-developed characters, and were both too young to die! ...Okay, not sure about Peach, but I know Mimi was. 8-3... this one gave me the most trouble. I started off with 3 HP here, and the first room is an incredibly long one filled with beasts of all sizes. Following the character-death pattern, you can probably guess Luigi and Dimentio die here, right? Yep. Here: (sniff)... the way they die is so sad. Okay, the final battle of 8-4 is here! It's gonna be epic, I swear! Are you ready for the ultimate of all battles? This battle gave me little trouble, and I managed to beat him pretty quick. See that? love what Bowser and Luigi say, "I fell through the floor" and "I don't even know what happened, bro!" Heh. ...Just so you know, something vital to the story happened while Luigi was... gone. You just don't see it. Wanna learn what it was? Watch this video and take a guess. Did you read the part about the seed? Good. And... yeah, you saw the final boss. I really love that boss design, and the music. THAT'S SO CATCHY! Let's keep on going: and finally, the final boss arrives. 200 HP, not that much. This was actually easier than the Bleck Battle, surprisingly. Seriously, it was easy! Not too easy, but easy enough to make it an awesome battle. Here it is: See that? When I fought it, it wasn't as frantic as that! Maybe I got lucky... sure, the eerie platforms shot me a lot, but not that much! Then again, that's Paper Mario for ya... always doing WAY better than they were trying to. Yet, they're so modest... wow. But, I guess I'm speaking from a biased opinion here, and I'm rambling on. ONTO THE ENDING! You don't have to watch it if you don't want to, it's a link. There's no magic force that's forcing you to click it. Wait a minute... (can you say "temptation"?) Anyway, There it is. (sniff) My, my... that's such a... happy ending. Am I crazy to think I've found the one game slightly better than Paper Mario 2? And to think... it's its sequel/spin-off-sequel. Most of the time, you'd think nothing beats the original, right? Well, with the Paper Mario series, every new story gets better than the last! ...And that's an extremely hard thing to beat. Okay, just for the sake of it, here are the credits: Sure, the credits are shorter than the others', but that's an awesome song! Plus, with the screenshots, and-- oh.... man, it's awesome as it is. Sure, it doesn't have a march/parade, but it has the only known screenshot of Timpani and Blumiere at the end! Sure, you can't actually see them, but you can make out the shapes, right? You might think, "We've see them before! Timpani's a butterfly, and Blumiere's that... thing!" but, these are not those forms. Timpani's a human, while Blumiere's... it never says. It just says "monster". Still, this is the most emotional story/credits I've ever seen... it takes a place in my heart. Man, I'm almost at tears. (sniff) ... It's so...... it's so... so... I don't know how to describe it. Just so you know, if you were to get it and beat it, you can keep the THE END picture up as long as you want (the Timpani/Blumiere one), because ShadowKirby just pressed '2'. That's all, no time limit.

Okay, miscellanious stuff-- I've never shown Paper Mario 1's parade credits before, so-- There! Yeah.

Another new thing-- I got Sonic and the Secret Rings today, and I'm a little far. So, I wanna get further, thus... see ya!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

General Paper Versus the Recent Embark (contains more SPOILERS than you can poke a stick at) (part 3)

Hey there, how are you today? If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading the first two/three entries of this huge thing. Anyway, today, I will blog about the greatest thing that's ever happened to me-- and it only happened last week! Note: Most of the videos I show here are played by the unbelievable Shadowkirby2007, the person who can beat all Paper Mario games instantly! Just telling you it's not me.

April 12, 2007... the place? Georgia. ...the state, not the country. I set 0ff on my Trideparting Voyage to the Paper Dimension! Uh... well, Super Paper Mario for the Wii arrived in the mail on that awesome Thursday. Booting up my Wii, I started on my most recent embark to the Paper Dimension. Here's how it went: I watched the intro-- shown here: with a huge excitement rushing through me. Reaching the title screen, I listened to the File Select music all the way through. It's very catchy. Anyway, I started it up and played it for a while, and then-- the gameplay started. It wasn't at all hard to get used to the controls. Rummaging through Chapter 1-1, I obtained the ability to turn 3-D. Uh... I'll skim ahead. The first mini-boss was in Chapter 1-3, the Scottish O'Chunks. This was a pretty cool battle, and was very easy. I beat him a little too fast, I think. Then, I also skimmed through Chapter 1-4 pretty fast, as well. Then, suddenly- the expectable happened. I appeared on-screen as almost a dot! Suddenly, well... I beat the boss quickly, let's leave it at that. You can watch the video to see what the boss is. Yeah, that's a cool battle. Next, Chapter 2, I got Peach, rummaged through and then... Chapter 2-3. I met a little handmaid in a mansion who said her name was "Mimi". I broke a precious vase, and she yelled, "UNTIL YOU PAY OFF THE ONE-MILLION RUBEE DEBT, I OWN YOU! ENJOY LABOR!" I was now a slave. I had to pay off 1,000,000 rubees! In order to do that, I had to jump on this thing 1 million times, or run on this treadmill tons of times. But... there was another way out. All these secrets, there was a vault that contained a million rubees. I payed off the debt and Mimi exploded. ...Or did she? Chapter 2-4 came, I had to run through Merlee's Mansion and find Merlee. Things happened, and I found Mimi in a Merlee disguise. After ratting her out, she called for her true form to appear, and this part gave me nightmares. Picture this: A sweet little girl's neck cracking as her head twists around, and spins round and round and round and round, then suddenly, her head mutates into a moldy piece of paper and she sprouts six spider-like legs, and her head flips upside-down while her body dangles from high up. It seems like it came straight from a horror movie, doesn't it? She was invincible, and her usual words were "Mimimimimimimimimimimiiiiii" ... that's freaky. She even chased me throughout the mansion! I ran into a Men's Restroom, and I thought, That thing's a 'she'... it won't come in here. Boy was I wrong. I was scared outta my wit when the freaky thing formed inside the bathroom! The only thing left to do would be to... gulp... go into the... women's room... (as Mario, don't forget. I... forgot about Peach) it wasn't that bad, except I opened a random stall, when suddenly Merlee emerged from it! Mimi ran in and transformed into a Merlee duplicate. Things happened, (cat-fight) the boss came, and I won. On my first try. It was scary, yeah, but at least I beat it. Here's the video (from entering the girl's room up, includes horror-movie transformation): Okay, Chapter 3 was one of the best! Chapter 3-1, towards the end, I entered Bowser's new castle, and destroyed it from the ground up! Bowser came out, we dueled, I won (obviously), and he joined my team! Yeah, "No, I don't wanna..." that's my favorite part. Chapter 3-2 came, and suddenly... (I beat this quickly, it was easy) I like the sound of when a tentacle rises. It sounds scary. Now, Chapter 3-3 came, and Dimentio returns! This time, it's his jester costume versus my fire breath, and we all know what beats what. My first try, too. Here's Shadowkirby fighting Dimentio: ...Yeah, I don't know why that beam of energy stays there. Probably a one-time glitch. Now, the showdown-- Chapter 3-4... the nerd/geek Francis stole Tippi, and I need to get her back! (This is one of my favorites) (just so you know, you can only pick Peach's responses, unfortunately), now the actual boss: Heh... "Francine"... that's hilarious! Chapter 4... this had one epic boss! This Chapter takes place in the farthest reaches of outer space. Check out this boss, and let's see if you recognize who the boss is. Do you recognize him? Yeah, didn't you hear? He's a bad guy now. That boss has 250 HP, by the way. That's the second-most HP a boss can have, the highest being 400. Okay, Chapter 5 was extremely... mixed. For me, anyway. The first half (5-1 and 5-2) I hated, but the second half (5-3 and 5-4) had the most trance-y music, plus it had a puzzle that had me stumped for around 3 hours. It turns out all I needed was common sense, though... that sucked. In the end, you fight the boss because of an enviromental problem... wow. Here's 5-2's mini-boss, O'Chunks! (Almost all bosses I beat on my first try) Yeah, there's something odd about Dimentio, isn't there? Okay, here's a crazy thing-- Chapter 3-4, the mini-boss is... O'Chunks. Well, O'Cabbage, anyway. Check it out! (This boss gave me tons of trouble, it was fast and everything, but I still beat it first) And now, finally... King Croacus. (still Chapter 3-4) This guy gave me trouble, as well. Okay, the moving root-things did. Here we go: Now, Chapter 6. This one stood out in my head, because it's the shortest one. ...Sorta. The goal is to beat 100 duels, all tougher than the last. However, as soon as you finish the 20th, Count Bleck appears. He talks a bit, and disappears. The Void (black hole eating worlds) starts engulfing the world really fast, and then... in Chapter 6-2... I'll let you see for yourself. That's the boss I died once on. The only one. I swear. The only other time (or 7 times) I died was in 8-3! Cursed Mimi. Anyway, I ran for my life, but the Void had already won. I somehow teleported back to Flipside, and when I went back into the Chapter... But first, I had to walk forward for 5 minutes. Literally. It was one loooooooooooong wasteland, with a few broken pieces of stuff here and there. Then, back in Flipside, Dimentio appeared and (literally) killed me! ...I was supposed to die. Stuff happened, and then I found Luigi in the Underwhere (y'know... the Aftergame, where Mario characters go when they die). But, Peach and Bowser were still missing! I got a Continue, and went on through the chapter, until... Hehe... easy fight. Later, the boss of Chapter 7 came in the Overthere (Gaming Heaven)... (extremely easy fight, Luigi was a big help) (movie by razorruss) Chapter 8 finally came, and the huge battle begun.

I'm stopping here. I tried to do the whole thing, but Internet Explorer crashed, and I lost all data past there... and I had a video of the Final Boss, too. Well, I'll make another entry that has the most spoilers ever! ...Aside from that Filler entry. Believe me, Chapter 8 is so epic! Expect the final part of the Recent Embark to be... tomorrow, I believe! See ya!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

An Unbelievable Feat (Filler Entry Concerning Another Recent Paper Embark) (Oh, and... contains SPOILERS)

Yeah, so as you can read from my little DJ Cafe, it'll be a few days before I tell you of my most recent trip to the dangerous Paper Dimension. But, in the meantime, enjoy these tales of horror!

So, the day was... uh... April sometime around 5-10th, 2007, I'm in Georgia. I decided that I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into Super Paper Mario, so I settled on Paper Mario 2 (Thousand-Year Door) for now. After fooling around a little, I finally decided-- I wanted to prove my strength. ...And foolishness. There was a rumor floating around Rogueport that somewhere below was a palace. I'd already been there, beaten the Final Boss, and all that, but there was another rumor concerning where the bad people went 1,000 years ago. It was referred to as... The Pit Of 100 Trials. This place was 100 floors of new, never-before seen to the surface-dwellers enemies! Enemies like Gloombas, Dark Koopas, and even Dark Lakitus. After a bit of searching, I found it and entered it. No turning back now, I thought as I skimmed through the first 30 Floors. Suddenly, after reaching Floor 50, everything changed. The rooms got darker, the enemies grew stronger, and my partners were constantly dying! I just remembered another rumor concerning this dastardly pit: "There were to be a dragon stronger than the queen... a little too stronger. Sent to bottom of yonder pit, for fools strong enough to beat the 99 floors previous, but only to fall victim to said beast. 'Twas thousand years before now, so said beast... 'tis probably none yet bones now." After recalling that, (...and deciphering it) I started to shiver. I was growing weaker by the minute, was this enough to make it through? Wait a moment... he said it's probably nothing but bones by now! Yeah, no beast can live that long! I thought, anyway. I was right... to an extent. Yeah, Floor 100 was actually much, MUCH, MUCH easier than I'd thought. However, it still provided a challenge... one that I'd never expect. Take a look at Best101 play the last floor in the following clip! Sure, not the best clip in the world, but it's the best I could find when I searched for it.

I also have another tale to tell! This is of... pretty much every other Paper Mario 2 boss. It won't take long.

The day was May something 2006, in Florida. I had just found the evil Lord Crump setting off a 3 minute bomb in a large tree! I only had 3 minutes to run away. It took much longer than I'd expected. However, when I made it (almost) out, a funny cut-scene was waiting for me. In the end, Crump decided to turn off the bomb, and instead decided to pummel me with metal fists! Magnus Von Grapple (Version 1) was quite an easy battle... but it took me a ton of tries. If you want to see this battle in action, follow following link. I just love that boss song! Okay, now for a tale of revenge, and the opposite of sibling rivalry! The place I had to go to next was a fighting arena, where fighters fought for the role of champion! I joined and fought all the way up until finally, that fateful moment... Okay, that was one long Chapter... now to fight the boss: Rawk Hawk! Or so I thought. The battle began, with very intense music playing and the crowd roaring for some butt-whooping! I fought and I fought to the very end until I beat him. This was it, the end of the-- what? Apparently, the Crystal Star (what I came here for) is fake! If you want to see the Rawk battle, check it out. Yeah, I forgot to mention I was forced to be called "The Great Gonzales". Forced. Seriously. Anyway, the chapter continued as I worked my way to the promoter's room and saw Mr. Grubba see me and run off. I chased him into the ring, and every mystery of this chapter (that's a LOT of mysteries) were all explained. Then, the boss began. Not much happened, nothing special, and I beat him. On my first try. If one wishes to see this battle, (and the ending, which I recommend you don't see... play the chapter yourself) then check this link out. It's quite a creepy song, actually. Now, Chapter 4! Um... a ton of Spoiler-ific things happened here, so I'll skip right to the boss. Here I was, about to face the evil monster who cursed the village and turned the villagers... into pigs. Then, I thought to myself, Wait a minute... I'm already at the 4th boss? This was a short chapter! Maybe I skipped something? Oh, you'll see what's going on. I saw the monster, and, uh... Wow. The windows looked scarier than that thing. Uh, there were these 3 windows in the monster's caslte, and one of them had his face on it. That wasn't the scary part, though... the eerie part was the reflections: 5 reflections, each with his face on it. 3 windows, 1 had hia face, 5 reflections, each with his face. It may not sound that scary, but when you see it... and his clowny face on them... you'll have nightmares. Then again, Super Paper Mario Chapter 2's boss is way scarier than this. ANYWAY, I was face-to-face with the monster whose name I did not yet know. He was apparently a trickster who was fed up with the villagers, and apparently had the ability to transform other people. The battle began with the extremely catchy song, and it whizzed by fast. Halfway, he showed me that he was a doppleganger, because he was able to transform into me! Anyway, I beat him fast and got the Crystal Star! But, I thought of it as odd that I didn't get a new power, and the ending message was a tad odd. The freaky part was, when I pressed 'A', the doppleganger jumped up! I had already left, and now I was controlling the doppleganger! If you want the battle, (and I highly recommend you... don't look at the name of the video, nothing bad, just the name of the monster) then watch the link. Then, the strangest thing happened-- I ran into myself. B-but, myself could talk! What the? I-I mean, the doppleganger couldn't talk, and now I could! This is weird! Then, he explained it all to me. He had stolen my body and my name! Everybody is congratulating him, and he's getting all the credit! The worst part was-- he has my partners. ...Drat. It was rumplestiltskin here, he told me to guess his name! I thought, Well, he says "Slick" alot, so maybe it's Slick? I tried it-- nope. More stuff happened, finally, I learned his name (through a little too much backtracking OVER AND OVER again)... which was (HUUUGE SPOILERS)Doopliss(END OF SPOILERS), got that? Yeah, you can't actually guess it the first time because he had somehow stolen the letter "p". He ran off to his castle, and I chased him. Then, the battle begun. There was a catch, however... which you'll find out when you watch the video. I fought for a while, and eventually, I won. On my first try. I got the Crystal Star AND my body back, and the Chapter really ended. Here's the video: Interesting battle. Okay, I really don't like Chapter 5, so I don't want to talk about it. Okay? Okay. Now, Chapter 6, on the other hand... I loved that one. Here's the scoop: I worked my cap off on 6 Chapters (there's a prologue) now, so I deserve some rest, right? Yep. Guess what I got? A 3-Day ride on the richest, best train ever-- the Excess Express! 3 whole (in-game, not real) days! This was an awesome chapter, the only problem was the stop at Riverside Station, but that was minor and showed that you need to be strong to pass this chapter! Really, the 3 days were spent solving mysteries, because tons of stuff happened. During Night 1, I had to solve an interesting mystery-- the Train Staff guy had passed out one blanket for every passenger, and keeps one for himself. Tonight, he passed them all out, all right, but... he had none left over. He had counted them all up, and got a specific number! But... none left over? This was important because if I didn't, the Staff guy would pretty much freeze. It gets VERY cold at night on a train, you know. After research, I found one passenger who said stuff about hearing noises coming from the room next to him, but... nobody's in that room. It was weird. After a bit of investigation, it turns out there was a ghost in there. This was one great chapter! Then, Day 2 came and it looks like a guy's briefcase was STOLEN! It had the formula for this solution that, if used in the wrong hands, could produce a NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. I searched far and wide, and it turns out that one of the famous movie stars on the train... well, he wan't him. You obviously recall reading earlier about that doppleganger, don't you? Yeah, it's him. Then, on Day 3, nobody was in the rooms. ...Except me, of course. Everything was deserted! I went to the driver, he was there, and suddenly-- something appeared on the windshield. It was strange-- it had eyes. Suddenly, the whole windshield was covered in them! After looking around, the whole train was covered in them! I rushed to the baggage car, and two staff members were being attacked by them. I saved them, and they said that the other passengers were taken to the roof of the train. Rushing out, I ran across the top of the train. Suddenly, the "smorg" (they're called that) merged together to form a giant monster! I realized that the other passengers were caught in the creature, so I had to fight them out of it. The dramatic, action-packed, movie-style boss music filled the room instantly as the fight began. The fight actually skimmed by quite quickly, really, and the people were saved. Hooray! Want the video? Here: I love that song. The battle may seem easy, but it is actually hard... to an extent. The snake-form shown in the video is the toughest part. Okay, I told you about Mangus 2, Chapter 7's boss, now for Chapter 8-- the final one. You can stop reading here, although I'm not at the big part yet.

Instead of continuing like that, I'll say Chapter 8 in a seperate paragraph so you don't have to read it. And also for convienience. Hope you'll understand.

Okay, behind the Thousand-Year Door is a large palace! After hours of puzzles, VERY HARD PUZZLES, I reached this big room. Deja vu, I thought to myself when I heard the little ditty, and say the style of writing on the screen. BIG deja vu! Um... uh-oh. The camera panned to reveal a giant dragon, who roared. It turns out Hooktail was a girl. Gloomtail's younger sister. And, I killed her. Uh... whoops. Awkward. Hehe... uh... sorry for killing your innocent little sister... big, almighty dragon... I thought, shyly. The battle begun. I was thinking, Of course! It all makes sense now! They said that there was a demon's soul behind the door, and this must be that soul! It only took me two tries to beat it. My thoughts instantly changed when I got a simple key for beating this boss, no ending or anything. Want the battle? Here: Using the key, a large rumble went on. Outside this large tower, I met the three Shadow Sirens (long story, play the game)-- except that Vivian wasn't with them. (She's my partner now) Instead, the monster from Chapter 4 was there! Wow. Chapter 4 is nothing compared to this! I was right when I thought that. The battle was long, and took me many tries to beat. The battle is right here: After finally defeating them, I continued to find stairs going down. Below the arena I fought Gloomtail, I found a large room with a Save Block. Ohhhhh, so THIS is the Final Battle... I thought. In the next room, the evil mastermind behind Princess Peach's kidnapping was waiting-- Grodus. He was waiting with a shocking 50 HP. HA! 50! It took me two tries to best him, but the next part took me SIX WEEKS. Yeah. Could've been six days, but it was that hard. Anyway, here's the Grodus battle: And now, the really cool, with the really cool song, but really, REALLY HARD part! There's not much to say but I beat it after practicing a lot. So, I'll let you see what this part is. Yeah. Now, the climax of our little game-- the Final Boss! I'm not saying who it is, except that I beat her in one try. Yeah, her. Want the video? It's pretty long, trust me. Here: Part 1. Now, part 2:, and Finale (with the best song in the entire game, trust me) : And now, THE ENDING! Only for those who want to see it. It's a cool ending. And, part 2: And , uh... the credits. These are good credits, with all the characters marching forward and the great song, plus screenshots. Here: Keep in mind that all those bosses were ALL in Chapter 8.

Well, that ends my long entry. Hope this keeps you occupied until... tomorrow! See ya!

Man, it's midnight already... I've been typing this a while.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

General Paper Versus My Recent Embark (With MANY Spoilers) (part 2)

Hey, how are you? Last time I spoke of some key events during my Maiden Voyage to the Paper Dimension, and this time I'll do the same with my Returning Voyage to the Paper Dimension. Yeah, I came up with those names. So what? Anyway, here goes!

August... something, 2006. I loved Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door so much that I decided to order the prequel, Paper Mario off Amazon dot com. When it finally arrived, I played and played and played all day long until I reached Chapter 2... I think. It might've been number 3, I can't remember. Anyway, everything went fine. That is... until I reached Chapter 4. I had just recently saved hundreds of Boos from the "invincible" monster Tubba Blubba. However, when I returned to Toad Town, Shy Guys were causing mischief all over town! I went around until I found a toy box, which apparently, Shy Guys entered. How do they fit in that tiny thing? I thought as I stepped up to it. Opening the box, I fell in and discovered that this box was 30, no, 50 times bigger inside than out! So big, there was a train that ran through four stations, and the rides took a while. Plus, each station had lots of rooms by them! It took me a very long time to get through this place, constantly returning to the surface to undo the deeds of evil Shy Guys had caused. Finally, I reached a very dark room. I heard screaming. Remembering I just got a new partner that can light up dark rooms, I used the young Watt. Shy Guys were surrounded by me, and they destroyed a wall, running straight in. Behind the wall was a small fort made entirely of toys! In the front of the fort was a Shy Guy wearing grey and a militairy hat, called "General Guy". After a little talk, he sent 15 Shy Guys after me. This will be very easy, I thought to myself as I heard the extremely catchy music playing in the background. Obviously, this was a boss battle. The 15 Shy Guys drifted away like dust, mere play toys compared to the power of my hammer. (Wow, that last sentence came out a little too wrong) Suddenly, General Guy stepped up in his giant tank. He called for two Shy Guys on stilts, and they prepared to attack. However, I was more than ready for two Shy Guys. Next up was 8 Shy Guys in two stacks of four. I died here. On my next try, I just managed to beat them. Finally, General Guy drove up and prepared to fight me. I died so many times at this part, it made Paper Mario 2 seem like a walk in the park! After literally countless attempts, I tried out my newest partner Watt. Guess what? It actually worked! If you wish to see a video of this boss battle, perfect quality, please follow the following link: I'd tell you of the time I fought Huff N' Puff, but that's a story for another day. However, I will tell you of the time I fought the Crystal King! It was cold, I had just solved a palace of puzzles, and I was ready for whatever they could throw at me. Guess what? A King appeared! As soon as the battle began, I could tell from the song that this would be a tough one. I gave it my all, but that wasn't enough. Instantly, he had recovered 20 HP and killed me. He did this again and again and again until I finally planned a tactic and K.O'ed him into oblivion! The moral of this story, kids, is Always have a plan ready. ...Especially for boss battles. Want a video, perfect quality, not played by me? (None of these videos are played by me, I swear! I'm not that good!) There's your video. Now, finally, I'll tell you of the time I fought Bowser! The Chapter was Eight, the sky was dark, the castle was filled with fear. Walking up the spiral steps, I was shocked to see Bowser and Kammy Koopa, waiting for me! Kammy used her magic on Bowser, turning him 10 feet taller, and MUCH stronger! We fought awhile until he became invincible. I used my newest ability: Star Beam, to stop him, but it... it didn't work. He laughed as meanwhile, Princess Peach and her friend Twink fought Kammy. Twink got stronger and defeated Kammy, and Peach did some of her magic to make me stronger! It recovered me completely and transformed my Star Beam into the Peach Beam, with enough power to stop Bowser... once and for all. The showdown of a lifetime begun. With the simply amazing music in the background, we clashed for hours and hours (the only reason for that is because I died more than I did with General Guy) until the next day... "RAAWWWR!" I had finally stopped the dreaded Koopa King. Want the awesome video? And that video doesn't even show you all of Bowser's moves! Plus, it doesn't show Goombario finding out Bowser's HP: 99, the most a boss can get in this game. Compared to other RPGs, it may not seem like alot, but if you were to convert it to something like... Final Fantasy HP, it'd be 9,000, or 99,000 or some really huge number.

Well, next time I'll speak of my newest trip to the Paper Dimension, but for now, SEE YA!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

General Paper Versus the Recent Embarkment (Containing SPOILERS for stuff) (Part 1)

Good day. If you know me from Blog City, you know that I have travelled to the Paper Dimension twice so far, correct? Both those times, I travelled far and wide, meeting some hilarious and serious villains; collecting powerful, comic-relieving badges; battling some of the toughest monsters there has ever been... well, now I will say a summary of that, and speak of my most recent journey to the Paper Dimension! Here's the summary: (including some links to YouTube videos)

May... something, 2006. In Florida, I happened to come across Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door for the Nintendo Gamecube. I thought, "Eh, why not?" and bought it. Oh, what a twisted turn of events that led to! Booting it up, and trying it out, I reminisced over the time I rented this same game one week a few years ago, and how I could never find the evil dragon Hooktail. I knew for sure that this time that would change. It certainly did! As soon as I got to the climax of Chapter 1 and found the dreaded Hooktail, the curtain rose for this wild stage fight... literally. The crowd was cheering (in-game, of course), fans threw coins and mushrooms while critics prepared to toss bones and rocks... I "took care" of them. Pulling off some excellent action commands, the crowd goes wild! I feel dazzled by all the audience cheering on, jumping up and down, twiddling around in their seats, eager for me to deliver the finishing blow to the large dragon. That it did, readers... that it did. After blowing that last of 20 from Hooktail's... rather low HP, the evil dragon asked me if I wanted 1,000 coins! Remembering what countless others in villages and towns said about tricks, I refused the offer. "No? Well... how about this super-rare badge I have?" Ver-y tempting, Hooktail, but NO! "Uh... okay, then. Um... how about I let you take a whiff of my feet? People pay big bucks to do this, I swear!" I simply said, "That's disgusting!" and refused. Making a remark about my trusting skills, Hooktail walked off the stage. No, there's more... I thought as I heard running stomps and suddenly-- "AAAAAHHHHH! AAH! AAAAAAHHH!!!" The crowd screamed in agony and anguish as the dragon swallowed almost half the audience. I jumped down to the crowd seating area, now empty, as me (plus my partner) and Hooktail stared in a face-off. Hooktail healed half its HP by simply eating innocent bystanders, and I was determined to defeat it now. A few whacks later, I won. That was the moment I'd remember for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. If you'd like to see this boss in action, check this out: Rampaging through the game's Prologue and 8 Chapters, I was shocked to find out how fast I had reached the boss of Chapter 7! This was ALSO a boss I'd remember for a very long time. My little "rival", the strange Lord Crump, stood next to a machine, stating how long he had been waiting for me. He told me to say hello to the new and improved Magnus Von Grapple V2.0, an improvement over the boss of Chapter 2. I thought to myself Okay then, all the other bosses were simple, this one won't be any different. Just remember: Watch out for the arms. Boy was I wrong... about that first bit. The tip about the arms was correct, though. As the battle started with the oddly catchy song, I took a look at my bigger audience, all cheering. The battle began. Magnus 2 had around 80 HP, 60 more than its version 1 counterpart. A few turns passed, and suddenly, Magnus flew to the croud and sucked up a quarter of the audience! What the? I thought, and then... KA-BOOM BAM BOOM BAM BOOOOOOOOOOOM! He just shot members of the crowd at me! By now, I had died. I tried again-- dead. Again-- nope. Again-- once again. Eventually, around my 20th try, I beat him, just barely. There's a video of the battle. The rest of it, well, there were no notable things. Aside from the last Bowser battle, but that's a story for another day.

There's part one of General Paper and whatever! Join me next time as I speak of my trials of the toy box and Paper Mario (1) for the Nintendo 64! See ya!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Hello, and Welcome! These Rules Are VITAL!

Those of you who know me know just how crazy I am. Yeah, I'm sorry my other blog had nothing on it, I couldn't get back on! I was stuck. So, I'm just gonna forget about that one, and work on this one. Yeah, awesome, my new blog. My very own Paper Dimension. You who don't know me probably don't know what the Paper Dimension is, well... here's a brief, three-word description:

Play Paper Mario.

Sure, Paper Mario doesn't feature anything like 'Paper Dimension', but it's just a name I came up with which means the place that the PM games take place in! Let's put it this way: Intelligent Systems made a papery dimension, and I labelled it. Y'see, I'm not doing copyright infringement since I came up with the name, and it's a different Paper Dimension here; the game Paper Dimension is the one IS came up with, and my version is... mine. The one you are seeing right now. Got it? I hope so, 'cause I hate explaining things twice.

Next topic: in my Paper Dimension, we have a coupl'a rules:

1. I love feedback. Absolutely love it. So, don't be shy, if you hate/love something that I said, comment! I am open-minded, I hate George Bush, I say nuclear, I think I can take any anger.

2. Every once in a while, I may go into a ramble. Whaddya expect from a chatterbox? Whenever I ramble, usually I'm not rambling, but I'm ranting. Or explaining. Either one's fine. If you don't know what ranting means, it means "going on about something wrong/I hate", get it?

3. Every once in a while, I'll tell a story. Usually it's a short one, but nonetheless, try to bear with me! I have been raised being told I was the best writer of my kind. Then again, George Bush is president, so I guess some people don't know what they mean. If you know what I mean.

4. Right there; see it? A pun. I make tons of these again and again, so try and bear with me and... while commenting, it's best to tell me that it sucks. Yeah, I always know my puns are terrible.

5. If I ever give a survey to you, please take the survey. I'll tell you later about my stories as a Blog City refugee, and I tell ya, nobody took the surveys. Yet, over 117 people somehow visited them, nobody took them.

6. If I give you a link, which god help ya, I'm gonna give you links, I recommend BEFORE CLICKING THE LINK, reading ahead to see what the link is first. Y'know, 'cause if I ever go crazy (again) and give you an April Fools joke a little late/early, the description may give you a warning.

7. Finally, there are three words I want you to look up, Wikipedia, Sonic, Chao. It's advised you look Sonic and Chao up in Wikipedia, but you can do whatever. (A little adviser: by Sonic, I mean that little blue overgrown hedgehog who can run) And, uh, whenever I say Dark Chao, Hero Chao, Neutral Chao, or Omochao, that's something you should look up, too. One last thing: Wiki means Wikipedia, okay? So when I say Wiki something, I mean go to Wikipedia and look it up! It's like "Google it", which means "go to Google and look it up"! The same with "Yahoo it".

Okay, did you read those rules? If you didn't, then god help you I will make sure I eat chocolate ice cream as you watch something bad on television! Toldja I'm crazy. Trust me, you'd better think hard about these two phrases: "DCA and Dark Chao Adventures", okay? They're related, and you'll hear the former a BUNCH more than the latter.

Well, that pretty much ends my... interesting introduction. See ya around!