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This blog goes back to 2007, but back then this was just a blog. If you came here for the investigation and the thrills, start with this post and work your way up. Click "Newer Post" to continue.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Kirby! Shadow Shutdown (part 3... there are a ton of parts, so you know)

King Dedede decided to finally get off his lazy butt and visit Kracko Junior, now an orphan. "So, according to the photograph attached to the blackmail letter... Kirby killed Kracko. But... this blackmail letter is a fake! So... either Kirby did kill Kracko, and someone wrote this letter and left the candy," The king said, "...Or, somebody else killed him, and framed Kirby! Okay, let's look at the evidence." Kracko Jr. turned to a piece of candy placed in a plastic bag and said, "We have the Invincibility Candy..." He then turned towards a piece of paper in a plastic bag and said, "...the blackmail letter, PLUS photograph... and the piece of evidence you brought that I haven't seen yet. What is it?" He finished. Dedede chuckled, sighed, and got anxious. "King Dedede... you did bring the evidence, right?" "Uh... y'see... um... on the way here, I, uh... some Gordos mugged me," the King said nervously, and then stated, "I'm serious! THERE THEY ARE!" He pointed toward a nearby cloud, and two spiked... things with eyes flew away. "Don't worry, I'll get them!" Kracko Junior said as he began to spark, and floated towards them. (Kracko and his son are giant clouds with one eye, and sometimes spikes are surrounding them)

Kirby stood inside his house, eyes wide open. Then, he just yawned and went to bed. The next day, he told a Waddle Dee about the whole thing. The Dee gasped, and gestured his hands into a star shape. Kirby nodded, and ran home. He took a look at something underneath his bed, star shaped. He pulled it out, and carried it outside. This was his Warp Star, just barely bigger than he was. He climbed onto it, and flew it away into the sky.

The two Gordos were panting, going as fast as they could. But Kracko Jr. learned from his father, and thus was faster than even Kirby when it came to flying. The Gordos didn't see the large wall in front of them, and they smacked into it. "Ugh... fine, you can have the stupid star rod! I didn't want it anyway..." The first Gordo said, and gave the rod with a star on the tip to Kracko. After a few minutes of flying, Kracko Junior made it back to the king. "So, the evidence was... the star rod? But... what's that got to do with Kirby?" "Don't you see? This rod has fingerprints on it!" "Kirby doesn't have fingers." "Yeah, I knew you'd say that. It has two marks on it, representing Kirby's two big... uh..." "Arms." "Yeah, arms! So, Kirby has GOT to be the killer!" "Waddle Dees have two simple arms. And what about the--" "SHUT UP! (sniff) You're ruining the moment! Sheesh... (mumble)" "Hang on... these fingerprints..." "I know, they could be a Waddle Dee's..." "No, they match Kirby's!" "You serious!? They DO!? I was right for once!?" "I never said that... but you could be..." "Okay, then... let's go find Kirby!"

Kirby finally reached what he was going to-- Kracko's Grape Garden. The place was deserted, except for the highest point-- Kracko's resting place. "KIRBY! What are you doing here?" King Dedede shouted, and Kirby turned around. "Ah-ha! Returning to the scene of the crime, are you? Kill my dad, will you... why I oughta--" Kracko Junior unleashed a large lightning bolt at Kirby, who barely dodged it. "Wher Kricket?" Kirby asked, and the King answered with a simple, "FIRE!" Kracko Jr. shot another lightning bolt at Kirby. This time, Kirby was knocked out.

"King, the fingerprints are close, but no exact match! What if it isn't him?" "Nonsense! It's gotta be him! I can't be wrong again... I'm sick of being wrong!" Kirby wakes to these voices coming from around him. "Wher... Kricket...?" Kirby asked one last time. "Kricket-- wait, do you mean 'Kracko'?" "Yuh... yuh-huh..." "King, he doesn't know where my dad is! I'll bet he didn't even know he was dead!" "WHAAA? Kricket DEEEEEED?" "See, King? He didn't know my dad was dead! Obviously, he couldn't be the killer!" Dedede sighed, and just silently cried. "I... I don't know what to say. Not except... C'MERE, KIRBY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Make me wrong so many times..." The King smacks Kracko Jr. away, and then kicks him all they way down to the surface. It was just Dedede and Kirby now...

I, I don't know what happened... I was dragged away, then forced into labor. What's going on here? Last thing I remember is fighting Kirby in his backyard, then that escape pod... ugh... what's... what's going on? There's a big... a big... thing here. He's... he's kinda (bzzzrt) colored, and has a big (bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrt) right there, right (bzzrt)! They're... they're cancelling out what I say, aren't they? Oh, man... are they getting suspicious? I see one of them coming towards me... oh, no, not (bzzrt) again! Help! NO! Not the (static)!

Kirby was face to face with the evil King, and put on his green cap. Then, he pulled out a sword. "Ha! Sword ability, right? Do you have anything new?" Dedede chuckled. Kirby jumped forward and jabbed the sword, then gave a left slash, then a right, and finally a stab! The king barely felt anything. "Heh... I've got a SWORD-PROTECTED suit on today, Kirby!" So, Kirby took off his green cap, and put on a white bandana. He then pulled out a giant hammer. "Wha? A HAMMER!? Hey! That's MY trademark!" Dedede yelled. Kirby hopped forward and gave Dedede a big, firey WHACK in the head. Kracko Jr. floated back up and looked at the King. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... sir, when will you learn? Kirby never means to purposefully hurt you! He only hurts you if you do something wrong, get it?" "Ugh... what? Really? So, he didn't mean to make me wrong all those times? O...okay. Well, Kirby... let's chat a bit. Why did you come here?" Dedede asked Kirby, and he responded with a long babble. "Huh. A mysterious man? Could you describe this man to me?" "Me ned Kricket June tu trinslty!" "Um... what?" Kracko Jr. responded with, "He said he needs me to translate." "Oh. Okay." After some babbling from Kirby, Kracko Jr. described it: Short, brown cloak, looks like a shadow wearing clothes, large sword, purple shoulder-guards, big, spiky black hair, one almost mechanical-like eye. If you want to see a picture, here:
"So... this... swordsman-like creature, he kidnapped Meta Knight? Okay. Alright, I know what we should do! We should go around, asking about this guy!" Dedede suggested.

After a few days of asking around, one actually said they knew the guy. "Yeah, I know that guy. I'm sorta related to him. Dunno why he'd want that armor guy, though. Normally the guy goes searching for Kirby!" This thing, called Gooey, said. "If you wanna save your pal, I'd reccomend you go to Dark Star, up in the sky." So, the three headed to Kirby's warp star. "BUT, before you go... I oughta warn you... these guys are dangerous. They can wipe you out without even batting an eyelash! I'd suggest bringing at least one Waddle Dee with you, to make it safe. Oh, and... 'Cloudy'? Yeah, you. I really don't think you should go. 'Why not?' Well, uh... let's just say that you need a minimum of two eyes to survive even SEEING one o' these guys. Well, there's your warning, now go!" So, our three heroes set off to first find a Waddle Dee, as reccomended, and then fly off to the unknown reaches of Dark Star.

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